Are You a Truthful Person?

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That’s not as easy of a question to answer as you may think, especially if you answer it honestly. Please note that words like ‘almost,’ ‘practically,’ and ‘roughly’ are not part of the question.

I haven’t a clue as to how far a person would have to go or how long it would take to find someone who tells the absolute truth. I’m a 76-year-old retired military pilot who has lived in seven countries and has killed people in the majority of countries on earth—or at least I tried—and I’ve yet to encounter an absolute truth teller. Granted, if someone knows you’re there to kill them, they don’t go out of their way to engage you in conversation.

Right away, those who tell small children—needlessly I could add—about the likes of Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy might as well add that John Wayne was the first soldier to hit the beach at Iwo Jima. Countless people who wouldn’t buy that Santa is real would believe and repeat your John Wayne lie.

Then there are the males who lie to females in hopes of carving another victory notch in their bed post. Females who fake orgasms are not only disqualified, they are doing the world a great injustice, because the one thing there is more than enough of is male ego. If testosterone levels gets any higher, the EPA will restrict the use of it in public buildings, transportation, and on beaches.

I ended my quest to find an absolute truth teller in New Zealand. I had been assured by dozens of written testimonies that a sheep rancher who lived just outside of Queenstown was the most righteous man in all of New Zealand. I didn’t go talk with this rancher, but I secretly videotaped him. I have no idea what he told these ewes, and I don’t want to know, but nothing he was doing could be classified as righteous even if one used a Playboy Magazine as their reference guide.

If you decide to seek out this absolute truth teller, good luck.

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